Sex is not a performance.
“… if part of being an oppressed person means that you are in reference to the dominant ideologies of those in power—in this case, men’s sexual fantasies, desires, wishes, wants, pleasures, representations, interests, needs— how do oppressed people construct themselves outside of the oppressor?”
Breanne Fahs, Performing Sex: The Making and Unmaking of Women’s Erotic Lives
When I was brainstorming how to end the Sex Politics series on my channel, I had tossed around a couple of ideas— but then I went to look at the comments under my analysis of The Idol, and got a lightbulb above my head as I read comments expressing how they felt a huge pressure to “perform” in every aspect of their lives. I saw a lot of frustration with having everything we as women or femme presenting people/bodies be contorted into something that is for men. These comments made me realize I wanted and needed to continue the conversation. So that’s what this month’s video is all about: sexual performance and the male gaze. I’d argue that the pressure to perform during sex stems from the cultural hyper-fixation on orgasm. Now, I am not arguing that desiring orgasm is wrong. However, it can be inferred that the pressure itself to orgasm is what’s harmful. Not only does it result in worsening quality of sex, but it is also used as an oppressive measure (of course, not limited to) but mostly towards women and femme-presenting people.
